That “It’s All About Me” Parent

Placing “It’s All About Me” and “Parent” in the same sentence is the biggest oxymoron I can think of and yet there are enough examples of this type of selfishness to go around. The most recent display of parenting travesty is that mother (and I use this term in the loosest manner possible) who thought it was just an awesome idea to attached her one month infant to the train of her wedding dress and drag her down the aisle. Now I have already followed this hot mothering mess on about five social media threads, cussed her out thoroughly in my mind, and offered her all of the seats available, so I will spare you all of that on this post. I will say, that this bride is just a part of a long list of the “It’s All About Me” parenting that seems to become more prevalent with each generation. Not that I am a parenting guru, but I do want to ask these “All About Me” parents a couple of questions:
1. Did you know that you have to actually raise the children once they get here?
2. If you did not want them, do you understand the that there are so many childless couples who would be as much of a blessing to these children as these children would be to them?

So many parenting fails make me so tired that I just want the t-shirt that says it all: I can’t.

When I think of some of the delights of parenting, I cannot help but to reflect on the patience required to be a mom or dad. These “All About Me” parents, though. They’re not even ready. And sadly, have no desire to get ready for all that goes into raising little ones. Like the following:

1. The Public Freak Out – There is a growing list of places that my husband and I can no longer enter because our little ones decided to implode in public by screaming bloody murder, throwing themselves on the floor, and simultaneously kick off both shoes to express their outrage at something. Lord knows what. All you can do as a parent, is calmly carry your child and what is left of your dignity out of the building.

2. The Little Knocks on Bathroom Door – When you’re in the bathroom, everything is urgent. Problems need to be resolved like right now. As a parent, you have got to learn to handle your business quickly so you can serve as mediator over who gets the last pack of fruit snacks.

3. Postponed Adult Outings – Going out with a spouse, a date, or even friends requires finesse, coordination, and most importantly, a responsible adult to watch your kids. I’m sad to say that there is too much evil in the world to leave your babies with some random. Even if it is for a long overdue night of fun. Rather than to risk someone harming them, we would just as soon take our children out with us for family fun. I do think my husband and I have a Caribbean vacation scheduled for the year 2029. That’s when our youngest turns 18…

4. Looking a Hot Mess – All funds for hair and nails go for diapers, clothing, and food for the kids (because as small as they are, they can really eat). Mothers, in particular, are the last ones to get ready trying to find the missing sock, a clean shirt, or a pair of pants that aren’t flooding for the kids. By the time, the children are all sorted out, there is ten minutes left to throw the hair into a fuzzy ponytail (no hair appointment remember?) and hop into the car as it is backing out of the driveway…

5. Lack of Sleep – I have not had a deep, complete sleep in almost a decade. It is not just because of the midnight feedings or the bad dreams. I think there is a part of my mind that’s always in protective mode that does not allow me to rest. Heck, I still feel their chest at night to see if they’re still breathing.

Parenting is hard work but you can’t reap its rewards if you don’t treat the children like the treasures that they are. If you ignore them, will they climb into your lap with their favorite blanket wanting you to read them a story? If you are always yelling at them, will they ever grab your face with their chubby hands and plant a wet juicy kiss on your cheek? If they’re always with relatives, the other parent, the random boy/girlfriend, or even alone, will you catch their special moments like joke telling, goal scoring, their funny stories, and school triumphs? Will you be there for the failed tests, heartbreaks, teasing, and loss of friends? If you’re always gossiping on the phone, will you hear your little one recite the ABCs or sing a song? If you never sit down to eat dinner with your children, how will you know their hopes and dreams? When will you impart your wisdom? If you never tuck your children into bed, will you ever find out their fears or concerns? If you drag them down the aisle on your wedding dress train, will you ever learn how to keep your child safe? If you are an “It’s All About Me” Parent, you are going to miss all of the rewards that comes with raising children.

Look for the “All About Me” Parent in Destination Wedding, coming out this summer!