War has been waged over the wedding guest list. Trust the voice of experience here. There are so many people to invite, but if you are like my husband and me, you are operating on a budget that’s kind of small. The more people you invite, the more you have to pay because you’re usually paying the restaurant or catering service per guest. So considering that you have to invite the friends and family of the groom and his parents, and friends and family of the bride and her parents, not to mention the workplace folk who hold your collective professional futures in the palm of their hands, the number of gold embossed invites needing to be mailed out gets pretty hefty. Who gets to attend? Who do you cut? Well one bride came up with her own solution to the problem. She created the following criteria for the reasons an invitation to her wedding will not be in your mailbox:
See problem solved, right? Uh… no. It’s not. There are so many wrongs about this status update, it’s hard to know where to start.
First of all, where is her class? Even if she had a point, was this necessary to say? I’m going to need people to think before they hit the “post” button. Before posting, they need to ask themselves a couple of questions: 1. Why am I really posting this? Do I want a lot of “likes?” or do I want to rub it in people’s faces that I’m getting married? 2. How does this make me look, like I’m the woman or I’m the fool? Also, I’m thinking about my mother again. If there was social media back when I was getting married and I posted this, my mother would have snatched me. Then she would have made me snatch back that status. She would have refused to let me embarrass her or myself in that manner because as she would say, “I raised you better than that!” Where was her mother and why wasn’t she snatching? What about the groom? Why didn’t he pull her to the side and say, “Baby, I don’t think this is a good look for you. I get it, but you might not want to post that.” So basically, this bride didn’t check herself. She wasn’t checked by her mama or her groom. But she was indeed checked. Like others, who use social media to weigh in on their private lives, she got checked by the public, hence this article. This brings me to the second point.
So when I posted this list to my own pages, the biggest response was the fact that the bride thought so much of herself that she thought the slighted guests actually cared that they were cut from her festivities. Someone even stated that it was just one less gift to buy. Also people, including professionals, are witnessing the fact that some brides just do not need to jump the broom because for them, it is more about the wedding than it is about the marriage. This is also a point that I have made here.
I cannot help wonder about the comments made to her posts? Were people in support of this or did they call her out on her lack of etiquette? Did people comment at all? How many “likes” did this get? Did she get “unfriended?” Personally, when I see statuses that try to bait or throw shade to particular “friends,” I just scroll on by. It’s just not worth debating. The thing is, when you send something like this for social media to judge, you may not like what you get back (That was another point made). Weddings are stressful enough to plan without getting into online shade-throwing. But this bride opened up that can of worms by pushing the “post” button.
This goes back to a post I wrote about the dignity being taken out of weddings. Even these were justified cuts to this particular guest list, was it really necessary for the bride to make a public statement? I guess that’s the thing about being behind a computer. That politeness filter is gone. Anyway, I just know Emily Post is rolling over in her grave behind this foolishness.
And if Uncle Junior is on his fifth glass of champagne and doing the worm across the dance floor, you may just have to grin, bare it, and dance around him. The important thing is that you are married and that is just another story to laugh about later. There are just some people you can’t cut anyway, as much as you want to.