Excerpt from Destination Wedding


Chapter 9: Rockin’ the Boat

Maia was sitting with David on the other end of the top deck. When she envisioned this ride with David to Daufuskie Island, never in her wildest dreams did she imagine that she would see what she was now seeing with her own two eyes. Maia was just happy that her parents were below deck catching up with the Robinsons rather than witnessing this spectacle.
“Come on, seven!”
A clatter could be heard as the objects rolled across the wooden deck and strike the metal wall. Then the ruckus laughter followed.
“Pay up, dude!” laughed the one with the funny shaped head.
“Double or nothin’, man!” said the short wiry one.
There were a group of guys, a couple of them who Maia was sure were Clay’s brothers, in a corner shooting dice.
Loud slurps and moans drew Maia and David’s attention to a pair not too far from the dice rollers. They looked to be seconds away from getting their groove on right there on the top deck. The tall woman with the big breasts was straddling the pretty boy with the silky hair and the gold jewelry.
The rough waves rocked the boat causing them repeatedly slap their bodies together.
“Are they giving each other mouth-to-mouth?” Maia whispered to David in disgust.
“I don’t know, but she could make good money as a lap dancer,” David whispered back. “If she grinds him any faster, the captain could turn off the boat and we could just sail to the island using their momentum.”
David laughed as Maia poked him, knowing he hated that.
“Sorry baby,” he said still laughing, rubbing his side where she’d poked him.
Then there were the girls hanging off the back of the boat feeding extra cheesy Doritos from a super-sized bag to the dolphins swimming nearby. To Maia’s horror, Patrice decided to join them.
“It looks like Patrice has made some new friends,” David commented.
“I’m happy for her,” was Maia’s sarcastic response.
Suddenly, the kissing and grinding couple sprang from their seats and rushed past the girls, bumping them before clunking down the stairs to the lower deck.
“T-Pretty, see what you made me do?!” One of them called after them.
Maia shot David a look that said, ‘What did she just call him?!’
“ ‘T-Pretty?’ ” David’s body just shook with silent laughter.
The girls watched with dismay as a half a bag of extra cheesy Doritos floated into the ocean.
“Great. Giving the poor dolphin high cholesterol isn’t enough so they decided to pollute the waters also,” Maia commented dryly.
“Hey, I’ve got Pringles,” Patrice offered to Maia’s shock and horror.
“Cool, let’s get ‘em,” said the girl.
“Half-Dead! Are you up there shootin’ dice, losin’ our hard earned money?!” shrieked a voice.
Maia and David exchanged horrified glances and then looked towards the dice rolling crowd to see which one of them would answer to the name, “Half-Dead.”
Up walked a lady with a horrible red curly weave, yelling at the top of her lungs. She held herself steady against the rocking boat.
“I knew you was up here,” she yelled at a sleepy looking man who wasn’t saying too much of anything. “Which bag did you put that Imodium in? This damn boat ride makin’ me sick to my stomach!”
The group of men snickered.
“What the hell y’all laughin’ at?!” She demanded to know.
Then she turned on Maia and David. “What the hell you starin’ at?! You don’t know me like that!”
Maia shook her head and stared at the water. As much as she wanted to say something back to this female Bozo-the-Clown, like telling her that eyebrows are not supposed to meet the hairline, Maia refused to combat ignorance with ignorance.
David said shaking his head also, “Nothing, ma’am. Go on and handle that.”
“Phyllis,” admonished the one with the funny shaped head. “You don’t know them people like that!”
“So! They don’t need to be starin’ at people all up in their eye!” Then she turned on Half-Dead, her curly weave quivering angrily on her head. “Get down them stairs!” she snapped punching Half-Dead in the arm.
He climbed down the stairs with a fussing Phyllis behind him.
“Hey y’all we sorry ‘bout Phyllis,” The man with the funny shaped head said. “Sometimes she don’t know how to act.”
“Hey no problem, bruh,” David said good-naturedly.
“Hey man, I’m Lightbulb,” the man introduced himself. “Clay brother.”
“Oh hey, man,” David piped up. “We just met Clay but he seems like cool people. I’m David and this is my wife, Maia. She’s Marissa’s sister.”
Lightbulb looked from the built man to the pretty woman sitting next to him.
“You’re Maia?” Lightbulb asked her.
“That’s right,” Maia said wondering how a man by the name of ‘Lightbulb’ could possibly know her. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Hey gurl, it’s a good thang you married to this dude ‘cause I was sure ‘nough askin’ Clay ‘bout how to get next to you!”
“You don’t even know me,” Maia said to him trying to keep the pretentiousness out of her voice.
“Don’t matter. As fine as Marissa is, I knew any sister of hers had to be fine too!” Lightbulb quickly told David, “No offense, bruh. You jus’ lucky that’s all I’m sayin’.”
“I know that,” David said giving Maia a kiss on her cheek.
“Oh this Book, Clay’s other brother, our cousins Damon and Webb. Half-Dead, our other brother just left with his loud mouth wife, Phyllis.”
“But Phyllis was right ‘bout one thing,” said the small wiry one called Book. “This water rough! What up with that?”
“It’s got to be the storm coming,” Maia said. “It makes the waters a bit choppy.”
“We gotta go down, yo,” said Damon. “I’m gettin’ sick up here.”
“It’s nice to meet you two, see you around,” said Lightbulb following his cousins and brother down the stairs.
“How are you feeling?” Maia asked David.
“I’m a little off, but I think I’ll be alright.”
“Let’s go on downstairs. You don’t feel the boat’s movement quite as much.”
They passed Clay and Marissa who were oblivious to all of the activity. The both of them were cuddled together on the seat cushions fast asleep.
“Aw David look,” Maia said softly. “They’re so tired.”
“They’d better get their rest now because it’s going to be another busy day tomorrow,” said David guiding Maia down to the lower deck.
It was pandemonium. The rough seas had made almost everyone a little green around the gills. Poor Marisol was laying her head in José’s lap trying to keep the walls of the boat from spinning. Both bathrooms were occupied. One of them had been unavailable almost since the beginning of the trip.
Lightbulb, Book, and the two cousins had their heads hanging over the railing. Obviously, the wait for the bathrooms had been a little too long. Sarah and Lily nearby witnessing the spectacle, broke into giggles at their discomfort.
“For the last time, Cloretta, we cannot pull the boat over to get food,” Maia heard Big Mama say. “And I don’t ‘wanna hear no mo’ ‘bout Pete’s hypoglycemia!”
David and Maia weaved their way between two children playing with Pokémon cards on the floor. Cousins Xavier and Tony practically knocked Maia over as they ran from the rear of the boat to the front. Apparently the rough waters did not faze them in the least.
When the couple passed Aunt Jennifer, she patted Maia’s stomach and Colin said, “Congratulations.”
Maia and David were going to have to worry about that later.
“I’m going to kill Marissa,” Maia overheard Leah, a thin attractive woman with silky shoulder-length hair, say to Beth, the short thick woman with the athletic build. “First she sweats me for money and now she’s making me sea-sick.”
“It’ll all be over with soon,” said May, an average-height cinnamon-brown woman. In fact, everything about her was average except for her long muscular legs.
“Why did we agree to stay with her?”
Maia didn’t want to hear the rest of this conversation. David gave her a sympathetic glance before passing more friends and family in search of James and Paris. They finally found them with the Robinsons. Poor Mrs. Robinson had her head between her knees.
“Mom, Dad, are you guys okay?” Maia asked.
“We’re fine for now,” said Paris as she rubbed Mrs. Robinson’s back. “Where’s Marissa?”
“She and Clay are upstairs napping.”
“Good because she doesn’t need to know about this!”
“Maia, why don’t you see if the captain has anything for motion sickness,” James suggested before resuming his conversation with Mr. Robinson, who was feeling a little queasy himself, but was determined to tough it out.
“Sure.” Maia got up and headed towards the front of the boat and knocked on the crew door.
“Do you have anything for motion sickness?” Maia asked once the captain opened the door.
“How many?” he asked.
“Everyone,” Maia responded crossing her arms.
“I only have five tablets left,” the captain said. “We used most of them on the earlier runs. That Hurricane Anissa is making the waters rough.”
“Then what do you suggest we do?” Maia asked impatiently.
“We’re going to dock in 15 minutes. You’ll be able to get something from the General Store on the island.”
“Fine,” said Maia and began to make her way back to where her parents were sitting.
She had to pass the bathroom where she thought she heard a groan of satisfaction. A second later, the door opened and the kissing and grinding couple from the top deck came spilling out laughing.
Aunt Theresa pushing them aside and ran in. Maia didn’t even bother to hide the disgust on her face. The big boobed woman looked at Maia with a satisfied expression of someone who had gotten to eat the cherry from the top of the hot fudged sundae.
Maia stormed back to her parents and to David, who had witnessed the whole thing.
“Take it easy, baby!” he soothed, trying to slow the tirade he knew his wife was about to let loose.
“This is my sister’s wedding, not a brothel!” Maia fumed. “I wish they would not carry on like that—um hold that thought.”
Maia, seeing that one of the bathrooms was free, made a mad dash to it, slammed the door shut behind her and clicked the lock in place.


2 responses to “Excerpt from Destination Wedding

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