Have you ever been dumped by someone? I have and it hurt. A lot. It felt like someone cut my heart out with a scythe. The dumping was pretty painful because I had all of these plans for my future that included that person. But this person’s plans did not include me. Once that realization sunk in, I went from being devastated, to humiliated, to angry. I got to the point where my rage went beyond destroying every present, letter, email, and contact from this person. I wanted to inflict some serious and everlasting pain upon both him and his next person that he thought was better than me. But instead of going all Angela Bassett and setting fire to his clothing inside of a luxury automobile, I watched a lot of destructive films like Die Hard and Point of No Return (those explosion scenes are quite cathartic), while drowning myself in pepperoni pizza, cookie dough ice cream, and root beer. I figured that this was better than spending my life behind bars because I decided to abandon my good sense and emulate Bridget Fonda’s Mardi Gras assassination scene. Next, I prayed that God would send me a better man. Then I went on a date New Years Eve. Now, if I had spent all my time cussing out my ex, I would have never brought in the millennium dancing the night away at the Crow’s Nest with the person who was to be my next. And my last. If I had dragged my ex’s next across the floor by her weave, I would have never gotten a dream proposal outside of Saint Louis Cathedral in front of fifty tourists. If I had wasted my time trying to manipulate my way into my ex’s life after he had clearly moved on, I would not have been able to share in the raising of my awesome sons with the person I was truly meant for. And if I had not let that pain go and became that ex who won’t find the next, I would still be walking around like Erykah Badu’s Bag Lady, unable to hurry up because I’m dragging around too much stuff. And that would have been no good for my marriage. I would have missed out on a lot of good stuff in my life.
What I am trying to say is that if you’re the ex who won’t find the next, you may think that you are doing the hurting, but you are actually hurting yourself. So while you are thinking up the next outrageous thing to let everyone know that you’re still around and not going no where, please know that your ex isn’t giving you a thought. Your ex may take a couple of minutes to cuss you, before taking the family to the park and not wasting anymore brain cells on your latest absurdity. And if you think that fighting with your ex’s next is a way to get him back, you are only kidding yourself because when the smoke clears and all of the hair, nails, and clothing (chances are they’re yours anyway) are all swept away, your ex is still standing by their next because your ex has moved on. You haven’t. And chances are because you have wasted your opportunities by desperately clinging on to a ship that already sailed, you may have missed out on your own happiness. And that’s tragic. So if you are that ex who won’t find the next, ask yourself, who are you really hurting?
That Ex Who Won’t Find the Next is one of the many exciting characters one will encounter in Destination Wedding. Other characters include Wedding vs. Marriage people and That Couple. Stay tuned in to my blog for more Destination characters.