Have you ever wanted to say to someone, “It must be nice being right all of the time”? You know that person. Everything must be done their way. In the way that they say to do it. To be completed immediately. Like right now. If there are any questions as to how said something must be done, you must confirm with that person to make sure that you are on
their the same page. None of your thoughts or interpretations are acceptable or you will pay for it, and pay for it dearly. Now imagine being married to that person. You can handle them in several ways. You can go along with it. Hey, you knew what you married before the rings were exchanged and the ink dried on the marriage license and you accept that. Or you can resent it silently, while going along with it, but every once in a while you do things your way, knowing the crap storm that is sure to be hurled in your direction because you deviated from the provided instructions. Or you are that one who always argues back because you have your own mind too. If you are that person who always argues back, then you and your spouse have officially become that couple. You know that couple. The couple that argues about everything, makes no compromises, and falls a mighty long way because they can’t get past their pride. Yes, that couple. And as that couple, you snipe over the smallest things. You both have to have the last word so perpetual shade is thrown. You sit next to each other with stoney expressions and arms crossed. You each mumble under your breath about how stupid the other is. So… perpetual mumble. The worst thing is that everyone knows you are that couple because the shade throwing, backbiting, and sniping isn’t even confined to the privacy of your own home. Oh no. That couple shows out in front of everybody. And they have no shame. But the people around that couple however, are totally embarrassed. And after witnessing that couple going at it, the people around them just want to do that bent-over-one-finger-in-the-air-walk-out-of-the-church type of leaving.
When you become that couple, people stop inviting you out with them because they know that they are about two outings away from having to give witness statements to the police because neither of you know how to pull up when the back and forth starts getting a bit too real. If you are that couple, people don’t want to come to your house either. And be trapped when things get really uncomfortable, like when the fur (and glassware) start flying.
But this is what happens when you have a wedding and not a marriage. I know people get tired of hearing this, but marriage is truly about compromise. It’s thinking about your partner before yourself. It’s not about winning every argument, but acknowledging each other’s hurts. Sometimes, it’s okay to let your spouse have the last word. Sometimes, it’s okay to try it their way too. If their way works, great! If not, the world won’t come to a screeching halt. And for the love of your mate, don’t continuously beat your partner over the head with their error in judgment or miscalculation. Chances are, everything was done with the best of intentions. Being right does not automatically mean that you win. What does the “loser” think about always losing? That they can never be heard by the one person who is supposed to be on their side? You can be right all of the time and lose everything that you hold dear. Simply put: Do you want to be married or do you want to be right? If marriage is your choice, then don’t be that couple.
Look for that couple in Destination Wedding, coming out this summer.